brewers baseball and things

Season of Not


The angry boy remembered meeting man with entertainment name. It was back when identities were outlawed on uniform backs. The two met on a train with no windows. There was a sign beside each open train car. “Please extinguish all hope, faith, and time.”

On board, the conductor could never be found. There was no outside, no tickets taken and no destination. Man with entertainment name grew painfully silent. So did angry boy. It was not a majestic silence like a mountain peak. It was an awkward one scared by all the lightheartedness around them.train station

Mrs.Winthorp counted imaginary eyes in a pea-cocked feather hat while a half-dozen bobbie girls chewed gum. The girls seemed to be doing a lot more than nothing, but angry boy and man with entertainment name didn’t see it that way.

Further along the train car corridor were three young men playing a dice and bean game. They never said a word, just kept rolling dice and dividing up beans which they chewed as a prize. Angry boy and man with entertainment name realized nobody cared about their names and began to wonder why they were on the train in the first place. They had never bought a ticket, never had a destination. They had nothing but anger and a name heading nowhere aboard a train with no windows.

It’s hard to say who had the idea at first, but both of them fell silent at about the same time. They moved in jewel thief stillness to the back of the train determined to win some recognition . Angry boy kicked the platform announcer in the groin who fell slowly to the floor. Man with entertainment name grabbed a hold of his neck and squeezed for a drawn out 90 seconds. The platform announcer’s grip let go of the microphone. He was finished.

Angry boy tinkered with a wire. Man with entertainment name tinkered with another wire. The switchboard audio controls were ready to be fed and nurtured a great lie. A world was about to be created.

Angry boy pumped stories into the train compartments about slick defense, home run sultans, switch hitting punch and judies. He channeled his anger into fake fans who rallied against fake enemy players with fake, but very colorful names saying fake, but very memorable quotes and carrying out fake, but highly realistic fake feats on the fake diamond.

There were 10 fake teams, three fake leagues, fake fan clubs, and fake scandals. Angry boy and man with entertainment name printed out fake newsletters, provided fake radio broadcasts, fake interviews and all the fake fixings of an entirely fake season including the fake pageantry of a fake world series.

Mrs. Winthorp, the bobbie girls, the dice and bean players and everyone on the train were smitten by this baseball fever. Peacock feathered hats and dice and bean games were brushed to the side.

It’s hard to say who had the idea at first, but angry boy dressed to the nines as Kid Shmerney the 24 game winner with his name on the uniform back and man with entertainment name became Maurice Trinner the greatest base thief the world had ever seen.

The two of them returned in loud spirits to the front of the train , ready to win some recognition and be someone they were not.


Author: Steve Myers

I grew up in Milwaukee and have been a Milwaukee Brewers baseball fan for as long as I can remember.

2 thoughts on “Season of Not

  1. Was Ed Delahanty on board the train, too?


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