Honk Kong Phooey shakes the seriousness from my black belt of discipline I never had anyway. From the moment I understood what a parody entailed, paradise rolled up and over the horizon where apparently it was hiding.
The effect was similar to reincarnation. The strings loosened and the nurse ratchet clock gave way to infinity. There was no rush; no rush at all. The tropical climate work ethic of “We can do it tomorrow” expanded into “We can do it next life time.”
Hong Kong Phooey was a short lived 1974 cartoon spoof on Kung Fu Movies and similar to Superman in that Penry Penrod Pooch was a janitor at a police station who turned magically into Hong Kong Phooey crime fighter extraordinaire minus the shape shifting phone booth and minus the good looks and prom king hero status. Honk Kong Phooey also had a sidekick cat named Spot and a Phoeeymobile that transformed into just about anything, Honk Kong Phooey was quicker than the human eye. The theme song said so.
And the Phooey had a good run, but now there’s Carlos Gomez. He’s also quicker than the human eye. The Brewers center fielder is the only player I can think of in MLB history that refuses to trot and swag after hitting a home run. He’s a fire drill instead. He sprints. He always sprints. He gives new meaning to the expression ants in my pants. He sprints over walls to rob home runs. He sprints to second base or third on a routine single and often gets thrown out. He sprints to the end of the dugout after hitting a home run where he kisses the barrel of his bat.
I anticipated the Brewers winning 162 games in a row. I do every year. Murphy’s Law, gravity, bar time, and all sober steamrollers in cahoots with reality may one day disappear..they have to..they will…we can make them disappear…oh well, for now, winning streaks to open a season run their course. The Brewers were stopped at one game.
Alex Wood gave up a lead off home run to Gomez, but that was it. He reared back with that southpaw heave-ho motion of his and shut the Brewers down for 7 innings. David Carpenter took care of the 8th and the monster with baby face and red cheeks-Craig Kimbril added to his legacy. He struck out the side in the 9th. That gives him 384 strikeouts in 230.1 innings. That’s…..i think the word around baseball is nasty, retarded, ridiculous, and sick all rolled into one.
Final Score; Braves 5, Brewers 2. The Brave’s Freddie Freeman hit 2 home runs and Jason Heyward hit one, but only Gomez went Honk Kong Phooey. Click the photo and you’ll be taken there.