brewers baseball and things

escaping fork prongs under fingernails


kittleKids do chant about Ron Kittle, about wishing he’d be hired as a hitting coach, as a sacrifice so the same kids could stop impersonating his home run swing beside the railroad tracks; the one place where newspaper sheets get pasted to a fence by the wind.

Kittle wrote a book, Ron Kittle’s Tales from the White Sox Dugout and he builds custom collectible benches out of baseballs, bats, and bases. That’s what wikipedia says anyway and that’s good enough for me. I’m just glad these kids who don’t really exist are on some sort of mission.

Maybe the chants will slip into runway construction for extra terrestrials. I watched these imaginary kids transition from Kittle chants to a full moon chorus and wondered which one organizes a grilled cheese sandwich gathering and which one carries a moon chart with box score scribbles detailing full moon events; find your own proof in the pudding and what not.

I let these imaginary kids drift inside a hospital emergency room loiter, let them bow down to the Emergency Medical Technicians who slipped them secret data verifying that “Crazy shit does happen on full moons.”

The emergency room has tiered bleachers; four or five levels high; easy to enjoy an aerial view of a gurney and pretend to have x-ray eyes and peer inside a patient’s mind where a civil war is underway; his body no longer important. One half of his mind a bible scholar and the other half, a Terry Francona Big League chew manager wad.

The bible half accusing the centerfielder of being like Doeg; full of insights, but dirty as scum on the inside; using the knowledge to promote his own power and fame. The Francona half praises the other center fielder as a little Ephraim modest servant.

“What about the god damn first base platoon! What about Mark Reynolds and Lyle Overbay!” I yelled.

I was just drawing attention to myself; planning my own funeral and what not, but I knew I was nothing but an itinerant clown who happened to be sitting in the emergency room watching a baseball team practice that didn’t really exist.

The bible manager yanked me right out of my ego. “It’s Hunter Morris’s position…this platoon is just a band aid.”

And he was probably right so I shut up and returned to my deliveries at the hospital where I work; back to reality. Hunter Morris hit 28 homers in 2012 at AA Huntsville and 24 last year at AAA Nashville. Plenty of strikeouts, but 10 more in 288 at bats this year, but then he broke his arm.

The Brewers decided way back in March to go with a Lyle Overbay/Mark Reynolds play who’s hot platoon and it’s worked liked PB and J; both playing a decent first and combining for 18 homers and 59 RBI’s, the Pujols line while Morris gets more AAA schooling.

But there’s something wrong with the Brewers offense and manager Ron Roenicke is maybe slow to make changes, but he still makes em.. Carlos Gomez was returned to the lead off spot and he hit a home run Thursday afternoon; first in a long while. The Brewers were leading 1-0 into the 8th inning.

Matt Garza had a no hitter into the 6th; second mastery in a row. But that 8th inning. Two outs and two runners on and Roenicke summoned Will Smith from the bullpen and this and then that happened and the Phillies scored 7 runs. Final Score; Phillies 9, Brewers 1. That’s 9 losses in 10 games.

Roenicke was confused more than anything else. Not supposed to happen. Our bullpen is too good for that, he said. He was melting and then word came down.

The Brewers rule V draft-Wei Chung Wang who was stolen away from the Pirates and stowed away in the Brewers bullpen as he has to be or else be returned to the Pirates. Wang has been there all season and barely pitched and now placed on the disabled list with shoulder tightness. Yeh right. The Pirates will probably lodge a complaint, but go ahead. The worst is a slap on the wrist…no rule V pick for the Brewers next year.

Wang will probably remain “disabled” until Spetember 1 roster expansion. His space on the 25 man was filled by Jimmy Nelson; to start in place of Marco Estrada Saturday-a full moon. Estrada sent to the bullpen.

The offense wasn’t altered, but the bullpen got better with Estrada. Will Smith needs a rest or something. He’s been  getting shelled ever since he appeared in his own rap video. I’m putting country music on my MP3 player as Jimmy Nelson makes his way to Milwaukee from Nashville.

The Brewers are 52-41.



Author: Steve Myers

I grew up in Milwaukee and have been a Milwaukee Brewers baseball fan for as long as I can remember.

8 thoughts on “escaping fork prongs under fingernails

  1. Maybe every manager should know Williams’ “I’ll Never Get Out of This World Alive.”
    It must be strange being a manager.

  2. Everybody Chung Wang tonight?

  3. Steve, ever seen ‘Hank Williams: The Show He Never Gave”?

    • i reckon no and best be going to you tube and by george, the whole cotton picking show he never gave is there; verdun 2’s “i’ll never get out of this world alive” too.

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