It’s been a bad 23 years for pigeons, probably been bad since before World War Two. But only bad in terms of how we humans see them; from messengers to flying rats.
Or maybe there’s two kinds of pigeons and the ones who fly a figure 8 flight pattern every morning outside my window-the ones with hologram necks who pick through trash and frat boy vomit are not the same ones my friend’s grandpa talks about with so much love.. He grew up with pigeons and tells us stories about raising and training them and attaching messages to their skinny legs.
Squirrels seem to get a bad rap as well and that’s too bad. That’s a fine creature; sprinting across a telephone wire with paranoid eyes and a mouth full of bread or acorns or whatever. A squirrel is the closest thing I’ve ever seen to Barry Sanders; my all time favorite running back; all that back and forth and tango before ever crossing the line of scrimmage.
And aluminum is not exactly tops on cool people’s list of precious metals. What a fine piece of metal and yet, kids wear gold and silver chains and adults fork over money for a diamond ring for marriage and all that.
But aluminum is on the new york stock exchange of metals or at least I think it is, but either way, you can shape the aluminum into almost anything including rings and chains and even shacks to sleep in and get this…they’re water proof. Of course they are. Think of a coke can. It’s made of aluminum and it houses coke a cola and that stuff is like rust to our inner organs and coke can are freaking sturdy.
They even have places all over town where you can turn the aluminum into coins and with those coins you can buy beer or potato chips or whatever you want.
Aluminum is like John Kruk to me….wonderful in all its imperfections. Kruk was fat and would probably sweat playing darts but he could hit the baseball and he knew the strike zone real well. Nowadays players look perfect and try to sound perfect. they even pretend to be extra bad sometimes because sometimes people think thing being bad is perfect or extra cool or something. I’m allergic to perfect. It seems fake and crutches and all that.
Ben Oglivie was wonderful in all his imperfections He was the only batter to pinch hit for Al Kaline and Benjy as we used to call him when he joined the Brewers was skinny,,,,sickly skinny. Maybe that’s why I liked him because I was always sickly skinny or maybe it’s because he used to do a NY Times crossword puzzle before every game. Incredible to me. I’ve never finished a crossword puzzle in my entire life, not even a boys magazine puzzle with easier words than the NYT.
Or maybe it was Benjy as a bad fielder and horrible base runner. We used to have hours of fun impersonating his ugly slides. Or maybe it was the twitch in his swing just like Joe Morgan. Both were left handed batters too and so was I. Benjy hit all those home runs as a Milwaukee Brewers; 41 in one season and combined with Gorman Thomas made a monster situation in Milwaukee, but still so skinny. We’re a beer town; a manufacturing town , a simple town, a not so fancy town, but unfortunately no longer an american league town. we switched in the mid 1990’s; stuck beside the Cardinals.
The real rivalry with St. Louis began with Larussa and his “my Cardinals would never do such a thing.” Larussa said he was gonna open up a bookstore but I think he took over the Arizon D-backs instead. Oh well, at least he’s off the field, but in fairness and credit to the creator of the universe….Tony looks close enough to Father Guido Sarducci and that’s a paradise reminder to me, that old Saturday Night Live.
One of the key players in yesterday’s Brewers-Cardinals game was Oscar Taveras… a left handed batter like Oglivie, bats from the left side. He played in montreal, lived here a few years as a teenager, has an upper cut swing and yeh, he’s a Red Turd, but I like him. He hit a homer yesterday. Cards won 5-3.
The Brewers are 74-68 and currently out of the playoffs, but there are still 20 games to be played and that’s approximately 60 hours of entertainment.