brewers baseball and things

cream cheese blues in need of an accordion

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The final edits of my book of short stories – Dreaming .400 are now complete. The extra lap did wonders for the story “Expos Next Generation,” but that’s all I will say.

The release date has been pushed up two weeks, to the end of September. You can still pre-order the book or wait until it’s available at places listed on the publisher’s websiteWe’re also flirting with the idea of posting a PDF version of one of the stories. I’ll keep you posted.

I received the uncorrected or “galley” proofs of the print book over a month ago. The vain sensation of holding it in my hand and seeing my name on the cover didn’t last long, but it still felt kind of cool. I have been distributing them in the hopes of reviews being written and some have, to be posted in various places.

I’m slow when it comes to marketing and branding my author name, but I try to keep my mind open. In the next few weeks, I will be pursuing a number of on line avenues to draw attention to my book – a Dreaming .400 website, author page, Facebook page, and so on. The experts tell me it’s best to link all of the sites together so there will be an icon for each on this blog to click and be taken directly there.

In other news, I survived a cream cheese scare at work. Either the bagel was way too small or the lady behind the windshield was way too liberal with the cheese. All I know for sure is that it squirted out the sides and through the hole like play-doh and yes, that can be fun when you’re at lunch and have one hour to kill, but not during a 15 minute break.

I knew right then and there that cream cheese belonged in a pita or on wonder bread, something with a roof or cover, not a bagel, but it was too late. I had it all over my hands, nose and cheeks and I was hungry so I rubbed my face free with my finger tips and licked away, all the while saying to myself, never again, never again!

But I still had a job and that’s a good thing and my imaginary great uncle – Otto von Simchastein popped into my head as well. I hadn’t thought about him in almost a year. He always told me that in a previous life he was a fighter pilot in the SS Nazi army. That always struck me as kind of strange since my family is Jewish. Otto said it had to do with gilgul which is reincarnation in Judaism. Sounded good to me. I love bratwursts and sauerkraut. It ain’t kosher, but it sure tastes good and on a grill outside Miller Park is just right of paradise! To die for!

Otto loved attending free events. He took me to solar panel demonstrations, limerick recitals and my all time favorite frenzy of his – “Russian language classes, all you can drink Vodka.” I always brought a harmonica hidden in my jacket pocket because I knew how Otto could get after a few swigs of Captain Karkov, inventing little fortune cookie ditties like,

“One carries pampers on his head, another a case of beer. Do you have a favorite dead tree, free, you and me, see?”

And when I politely asked what the hell he was talking about, he would just slip into more ditties,

“A hangover is a leftover. The moon is a pill, still, we will find a thrill.”

If Otto were a real person I would buy him an accordion and invite him to a real simple place with wood bleachers, maybe the home court of a division three basketball team. He could roam the sideline and pluck strangers from the crowd and dance with them a while and when the waltz was over, raise up their arms in a Che Guevara triumph, crowning strangers with unexpected joy.

Speaking of joy, the Brewers now have a better winning percentage than five teams including the Atlanta Braves. And in Canada, the Blue Jays are kicking so much ass that even Montreal baseball fans are warming up a bit.

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Author: Steve Myers

I grew up in Milwaukee and have been a Milwaukee Brewers baseball fan for as long as I can remember.

24 thoughts on “cream cheese blues in need of an accordion

  1. Congrats on the book. Hope it sells well.
    v

    • Thanks v. I’m looking forward to discussing the stories with the gang here. In fact, that might be what I’m looking forward to most. That and Toronto reaching the World Series. It might do wonders for bringing baseball back to Montreal. The thought of the Blue Jays and new incarnation Expos both being in the AL East is probably unrealistic but it gets one sizzling anyway.

    • v, one of the interesting developments with regards to baseball returning here is investors stepping up and saying yes, they would drop down some money to a) build a new stadium and b)buy out Tampa Bay’s stadium lease. Also the current mayor of Montreal is crazy about baseball. Hasn’t been one so in love with the sport since Jean Drapeau in the late 1960’s. Something to keep an eye on. Maybe I’ll do a post about it.

  2. I want an autographed copy of your book. I swear I’ll pay extra for it. And I’ll be happy to review it for you on my blog, if you like.
    Though I’m not quite Annie Wilkes in “Misery,” I am a big fan of your writing.
    Cheers, Bill

    • Be careful of Bill, Steve! He’s a stalker, like Annie Wilkes in “Misery”!

      I’m just kidding of course, and if you’re reading this, Bill, you know i’m just joking around! I just got a kick out of what you wrote, Bill! 🙂

      Glen

    • Bill, that would be great, a review on your blog. Absolutely! Thanks for thinking of that and an autograph to boot! My landlord is the only person who has ever requested my autograph, on a check, to ensure the rent check wouldn’t bounce. I’ll talk to the publisher so we can set something up and be in touch with you through email.

  3. What stores will your book be available in, Steve? And will it be in bookstores at the end of September? Will it be available in Barnes and Noble immediately at the end of September? Will it be available in independent book stores by the end of September? Am I asking too many questions? Yes.

    I’m just looking forward to getting it, that’s all.

    My mother is also a fan of your writing. She says “That guy must be a real character!”

    If you think that eating bratwurst is non-Kosher, I want to confess something—- I cook and eat pork chops regularly. First of all, I couldn’t afford to keep Kosher if I wanted to. It’s friggin’ expensive. Second of all, I love pork chops! Do you eat pork chops, too, Steve? Fess up!

    I see a lot of Frum over in Boro Park, Steve, who live in these dumpy looking houses or apartments because they have so many kids and they eat Kosher on top of that, they can’t afford to live in a nice place. I wonder, sometimes, if the kids even get enough food or enough nutrition. A lot of these Frum are on food stamps because of their keeping Kosher. The whole thing’s screwy. There’s some kind of requirement that the guy should knock up his wife 50 times a month or something. I don’t know. I think they’re crazy.

    Glen

    • Glen, the book will be available through the retail partners listed on the summer games books website. Should be up on their websites by the end of September. I hope that helps.

      • Thanks. Sounds good.

        Glen

      • In the post above, I meant that I’d like to review your book on MY blog! I accidentally wrote I’d like to review your book on YOUR blog!

        I’ll send address and phone number and all that to you on your e-mail so that the publisher will be able to contact me to set things up.

        Glen

  4. If there is any justice in the world, you’ll have a Pulitzer and a whole bunch of zeroes in your checking account (not all zeros, mind you…) Maybe a trophy wife, as well. Didn’t Arthur Miller score Marilyn Monroe after Joe D? Take that, guys who can hit the curveball.

  5. It the hills of nearby Potter County, where bear and bobcat are rumored to hold dominion, the homespun drink of choice was always known as Dago Red.

  6. A book of short stories! That’s fantastic! I look forward to its release. Congrats!