brewers baseball and things

not exactly aces


With no traveling minstrel show or pow circuit listed on my immediate social schedule, i took to the street and walked around the block, hoping to align with change, with baseball’s barnstorm get away travel days as one series is done and another about to begin and Gerald Nicosia screaming softly in my head – ACCEPT LOSS FOREVER or maybe it was Steve Nicosia? He split his last major league season – 1985 –  between the Expos and Blue Jays.

i suppose the revolving door has its perks, has a certain origami quality to it, a shape shifting potential, colorful flowers growing from a soldier’s tomb without the help of human hands.

The beginning and end of a series feels similar to being a kid and ripping into a wax pack of baseball card player personalities, seeing and liking, but tucking that card on the bottom, forgotten, replaced by the next new top card, and so on and then no more cards and some are memorable and some not. Chew-chew-chew; that stick of gum actually softens, a first lesson in ignoring nay say noise.

yeh neh,
up down,
joy pain
sun rain
the orgasmic grease of another McDonald’s hash brown please don’t be the last bite! god, i love hash browns.
the hot shower has gone cold
every damn day turns to driftwood,
washed away,

but a different series washes ashore. in my Brewers shoe box motel mind welcoming these new teams and players into the TV view finder carousel round and round, series after series after season and there was this restaurant/bar in Milwaukee. I forget the name, but it had an upper deck. Reminded me of the Old Tiger Stadium i watched on TV with the outfield seats jetting out over the field or at least it looked that way on TV – perfect place, that bar and probably tiger stadium as well, to enjoy the gift of elevation, of turkey vultures soaring a breeze in search of fresh carcasses to scavenge or to sit self-conscious, hug the Pink Floyd banister and stare into the cloudy blues below remembering all the teams and players Jason Bergman you are memorable.

Bergman was drafted by the Montreal Expos in 2002. Didn’t debut till a few years later in 2005, as a Nat. I remember 2007 spring training. I remember Jason Bergman. A reporter asked him what his expectations were for the upcoming season and Jason said something like, Well, I’d like to be 13-10 with a 3.47 ERA. There was a pause, the reporter startled from the specifics and then Bergman added that he would also like to unveil a new pitch, a Turgasoo or something like that and the reporter believed him for a few seconds until Bergman cracked up.

Bergman was born in Neptune, not the planet, but the state, of New Jersey. He was pretty good in 2007, good enough that I ordered his strat-o-card, but to be fair, I ordered the entire league as well. He pitched 115 innings and only gave up 99 hits, 86 strikeouts, but 42 walks. I guess that’s a lot of walks. Gave up 18 homers too.

The last Bergman spotting was in 2013, in the Indy Atlantic League pitching for the Sugar Land Skeeters in Sugar Land, Texas and holy sweet tooth, in 30 innings as the team’s closer, he gave up 15 hits and 1 earned run, 33 strikeouts against 2 walks. Then he pitched at Escogido in the Dominican Winter League. The Royals signed him to a minor league deal in 2015 I think. I also came across an article from July of 2015 that mentions Bergman as one of the National’s all time worst players. Oh well,

a fastball cowboy boot motorcycle zoom.
there’s probably never been a cocksure knuckleballer.
i hear one of the
k-niekro brothers carried a flask.
there musta been magic in it.



Author: Steve Myers

I grew up in Milwaukee and have been a Milwaukee Brewers baseball fan for as long as I can remember.

6 thoughts on “not exactly aces

  1. I wish I could see or hear a tape of that interview with Jason Bergman. Well, I’m now a Jason Bergman fan! I nominate him for the Bill Lee/Spaceman Hall of Fame, along with the batter on the original 1962 Mets (I forgot who) who, when a reporter asked him after the game “When did you know it was a home run?” “I knew it was a home run the second I saw it go over the fence.” – Source: “Can’t Anybody Here Play This Game” by Jimmy Breslin, Viking Press, 1963.

    Honorable mention for the Bill Lee/Spaceman Hall of Fame: Choo Choo Coleman, New York Mets, 1962-1966. When Ralph Kiner asked him what his wife’s name is and what is she like, he answered, “My wife’s name is Mrs. Coleman and she likes me!”

    Other honorees to the brand new Bill Lee/Spaceman Hall of Fame are waiting to be nominated. Anyone?


    • When responding to being skulled in the 1934 World Series Dizzy Dean said “They x-rayed my head and didn’t find nothing.” Gotta nominate him.

      • Thanks. Okay. So we’ve got Jason Bergman, Choo Choo Coleman, and Dizzy Dean in the Bill Lee/Spaceman Hall of Fame. Anyone else, folks?


        • At some point a few years ago, i started thinking that three was a great number and that if i had three of anything, it was a collection. It felt good. I think it was when i moved into a new apartment and had parked my toothbrush three consecutive nights in the same spot. I felt home. Thanks Glen!

  2. Steve Nicosia once hit on my ex sister-in-law. Fool.

    For the Spaceman Hall, I would like to nominate Dick Hall, the Swarthmore grad turned ’52 Pirates outfielder turned successful reliever. While with those highly successful ’52 Bucs, the third base coach flashed Dick the steal sign. He stayed put. He gave him the green light on the next pitch. Nothin’ doin. So, figuring the third time being the charm, the coach gave it one more time. Uh-uh. After the inning, he asked Hall “Look, I gave ou the steal sign three times. Didn’t you see it?” Hall thought a moment, then replied “Yes, but I didn’t think you meant it.”

    • I’ve never been hit on, except by the occasional gay guy, so excuse me if i’m not in the know, but doesn’t getting hit on do wonders for the self confidence?

      I also see that she is your ex sister in law and well, I can’s help wondering if Steve Nicosia’s come ons had something to do with that?

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