brewers baseball and things

if our toes could talk one day



Author: Steve Myers

I grew up in Milwaukee and have been a Milwaukee Brewers baseball fan for as long as I can remember.

24 thoughts on “if our toes could talk one day

  1. Who’s Carl Paranski?

  2. I wish I had seen the movie when it came out. I was in junior high at the time. Walter Matthau is one of my favorite actors. He was a ham, but one of the greatest actors ever, particularly in comedy. He and Jack Lemon, together, created magic. You can’t even think of Walter Matthau without thinking of Jack Lemon. And to think that today’s stupid generation doesn’t even know who either of them were. What a generation. They don’t play sports, they just walk around like zombies with their smart phones that somehow they can afford. My eleven year old nephew isn’t like that, thank God. He plays sports, mocks his friends who own their stupid smart phones, and would probably enjoy the acting of Jack Lemon and Walter Matthau.


    • i always kept my eyes open for a botched drug deal and still do. In fact, I’m heading out in the next few minutes, after some oatmeal and will do it again, look for ya know like a stray briefcase stashed behind a dumpster filled with cash. Then I would never have to work another day in my life and well, I got a hunch that all of these walkie talkies that everyone is using and it does seem to be everyone, not only kids. Yeh, I’m hoping that their being glued to the screen while walking along might increase the number of items dropped to the ground, ideally 20 dollar bills because well, i’m fixing to take advantage of this here situation and be like an old man on the beach waking around with one of those golf club looking metal thingamadgegees that detect items 20,000 leagues under the sea. I figure the more we look up, the more stars and planets we might see, but what good are planets and stars when there are bills to pay, so i say screw it and look down for stray cash dammit!

  3. I love this line—– “A doctor may not know why the Seattle Pilots played 163 games in 1969, but his neighbor – the baseball historian does. An aortic valve replacement in exchange for the box score from that 163rd game is probably not a viable trade, but something could probably be arranged.” My brother-in-law is a chiropractor, and he often does a barter system if the patient can’t afford to pay him. I don’t know if he ever got the Seattle Pilots’ statistics in exchange for his services (he’s not interested in baseball, just basketball), but he has gotten his car repaired in return for his services.


    • I’m an instant fan of your brother in law for he is out of the law or out of the money system anyway. Does he collect baseball cards? Does he live in New York? Is he a Mets fan too? I got plenty of New York Mets doubles and would trade him a bunch for a nice back rub. Gawd, I wonder about backs. It’s not easy holding up my spine and having good posture. I think I might take a vacation and crawl around a while, get in touch with my primordial ancestors.

      • He lives 200 miles from New York City, and he takes barter services when the patient can’t afford to pay out of pocket or if his the patient’s insurance won’t cover his services. He is not a Mets fan, but my eleven year old nephew is. I got my nephew a poster of Jacob deGrom for his birthday. My brother-in-law’s father is a Yankee fan who, in my opinion, used to look like Joe DiMaggio when he was younger. My brother doesn’t play or watch baseball at all, and is only a basketball fan. My nephew, who I taught how to dribble a basketball, now kicks my ass at basketball; he actually ran into me in February while driving on me when we were playing basketball in the driveway, and it induced lip bleeding. I wasn’t mad; I was PROUD of my nephew! Way to kick ass, Robbie! Luckily, my sister plays catch with a baseball with my nephew because my brother-in-law obviously won’t. She’s a good mother to her children. Plus, ironically, my brother-in-law is a chiropractor with a bad back, so that’s one of the reasons (at least I think) that he doesn’t play much sports with my nephew.


        • I think you should discourage him from dribbling, ya know, so he doesn’t have to wear a bib around, but seriously, I get so disgusted or maybe mildly upset when watching players dribble the ball around. Its seems like such a show off me me me move. But don’t mind me, I’m an old traditional fart. I prefer teams that pass more-dribble less. It’s a sight to see a team work the ball around with no dribbling.

  4. “My brother doesn’t play or watch baseball at all, and is only a basketball fan.” I meant “brother-in-law”, not “brother”.


    • i got basketball cards too and for the right kind of massage or whatever it is chiropracters do, i would be willing to part ways with some New York Knicks cards or shit, maybe I have some old CBA cards of the albany patroons? Albany’s about 170 miles from NYcity. Maybe he lives in Albania?

      • Is that the Phil Jackson era Patroons? Washington Street Armory, representin’!

      • No, he doesn’t live in Albany OR Albania. He lives in the other direction, more west than straight up north.

        I didn’t collect basketball cards, but I bought a few packs, maybe two or three. Here’s my favorite basketball card that I owned. By far. By the way, the cards were BIG in 1970, unlike the baseball cards. And for some reason, the players weren’t allowed to show their uniform insignias or the team nickname—- just the name of the city that the team played for.

        When this guy got traded to the Lakers, I lost interest in the Bucks, and in the player himself.


  5. An entertaining post, Steve. By the way, an uncle of mine had three sets of teeth. He was born without an appendix, but got the extra choppers in his thirties. Maybe Mother Nature barters after all?

    • Now if we can swap one of our extra kidneys for a second liver, I’ll buy the first round.

        • Allan, you got me spinning. How in the novacaine world was your uncle able to get a third set? Implants? Dentures? I’m stopping myself right there and will simply believe in the miracle.

          Ya know I was watching that show Nature of Things last week and apparently since the oceans are being depleted of fish, the jellyfish are moving in and taking over and they found one in Japan that lives forever. Apparently, it grows backwards when faced with death, becomes a fetus again or whatever that stage is called for jellyfish. I probably explained that wrong. Oh here, i found an article about it.

          • Great info, Steve. i never heard of those jellyfish before.Maybe we need to get back in the water where it all began and spend our time there.

            I used to watch the seals and sea lions when I was on the main cable of the bridge and I often wondered who had it better. they seemed to delight in watching us work—not so dumb at all.

            As for my uncle, he lost his second teeth one-by-one and new ones grew in. He never had dentures or implants.

  6. I read that particular bit of arcana from the rule book, and it got me thinking…1978 Mets, and (for reasons which escape all of us) Mike Bruhert is on the mound and, as he was wont to do, has the ball slip out of his hand. Lenny Randle, in a shocking about-face, tries to blow the ball fair, and keeps it from crossing the foul lines. What’s the ruling?

    • Randle wasn’t on the Mets at the time when he blew the ball fair. He was already gone from the Mets; he was on the Seattle Mariners. Also, he blew the ball FOUL!

      I liked Lenny when he was on the Mets, although I really shouldn’t have, since he beat up Frank Lucchesi, his manager with the Texas Rangers, when just before he was traded to the Mets.

      Did you know that Mike Bruhert is Gil Hodges son-in-law and is also from where I’m originally from, Jamaica, Queens? Therefore, I liked Mike Bruhert.


  7. W.K., Mike Bruhert was just another mediocre pitcher during the post-Seaver era. The whole TEAM was lousy. There was no such thing as “box office poison”. My friends and I were among the only ones who showed up at Shea! Mets fans at Shea during that time didn’t yell “LET’S GO METS!” We used to yell “LET’S GO HOME!” (That is really true!)

    We Met fans didn’t expect much—- and we didn’t GET much, either! If we won a game during that era, we were happy. Of course, that didn’t happen too often!


    • But for real Met fans such as myself, it was still fun going to the games at Shea. We didn’t expect much, and when the Mets won, it was even better!


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