the brewers are 15-27

I feel like an obese person conveniently preaching that beauty is only skin deep. The Brewers lost last night, to the Braves, 10-1, but it’s gonna be ok. It always was ok.

The Middle East and Southeast Asia were carved up by drunk colonizers in the aftermath of World War II or maybe it happened decades earlier? Wasn’t the world once Austria Hungarian Ottoman Persian Assyrian Babylonian Etruscan Hebrew? I should keep my day job, but over there, in some anonymous Idaho stream maybe  there is extra terrestrial dust from long long even longer ago?

Makes me wonder why the Houston Colt .45s included a decimal point before their name and why there was no apostrophe between 45 and s. Was there some drunk grammar colonizing crew that decided exception to the rule or maybe it’s  me who doesn’t know the rules?  Should there be a decimal point before 45?

Apparently there is supposed to be one before .45 but why no apostrophe between 5 and s as in Colt .45s? I guess for the same reason there is no apostrophe between the r and s of Brewers as in Milwaukee Brewers. English is complicated.

The Colt 45s, excuse me the Colt .45s  played in Colt Stadium from 1962-64 before moving into the 8th wonder of the world Astrodome. Colt Stadium apparently featured rattle snakes on the field, horrific heat and humidity and  nasty swarms of mosquitos. Some called it a barn which was maybe generous because barns have hay for rolling around in and smooching and I suspect there was a baby or two conceived at Colt Stadium.

These mosquitos remind me of the black flies of quebec north which apparently drove the native americans on summer vacation to the Atlantic coast. Smart people. They fished for lobster and returned home after the flies were done doing there thing.

Some people think because the Brewers are playing so bad this year, they too should go on vacation, especially since summer hasn’t even started, plenty of time to make a casual escape as opposed to a secret Baltimore Colts sneak out of dodge situation. All the proper disguises could be put in place with minor league brewers replacing major league ones, but the uniform name backs would remain the same name. A little face make up her and there and no one would know the difference. And who would fill minor league rosters? Anyone. Local kids with nothing else to do for the summer. What a thrill for everyone involved. And current Brewer players would be happy as well, catching those lobsters along the eastern seaboard in anonymity.

Early on in the 2014 season way back when there was concern over Carlos Gomez’s swing so hard his helmet fell off or even worse-he dropped down on one knee, but not to pray. It was to keep from falling or maybe both serve the same purpose? But the concern went deeper than Gomez. It stretched up and down the roster. This was a team that didn’t take too many pitches and hardly ever walked.

I was late to OB%, but ode to my strat-o-matic baseball guru. Thank you.  He was the one who ordered Bill James pamphlets from the backs of baseball digests. It took me a long while, but I caught on.  OB% matters.

So April-May-June of last year was an enjoyable drinking binge with all that getting on base and timely hitting. We spiked our next morning coffees with whisky to prolong the feeling,  but we knew it wouldn’t last or the good pitching did, but there were no more ducks on the pond and as a result-no more runs in July-August-September and even fewer this year.

And so home runs are my best friends and that’s OK.  I love the Brewers. Win or lose is beside the point and excuse me while I sound like a fortune cookie cliche, but the journey is what matters and there’s a game almost every damn day and I can watch it if I feel like it and if I had a porch, I’d paint it and listen to a game on the radio and pop a top on a pabst.

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elevator going up…or down

George Burns aka God in the 1977 movie “Oh, God” said he hadn’t performed any miracles since the 1969 Mets and before that; parting of the Red Sea. Jerry aka John Denver wanted some proof, so God made it rain inside his car. 

You’d think the 69 Mets woulda been enough; winning the World Series in the same decade as their expansion origins. No team had ever done that before. There was no free agency yet; no Florida or Arizona buying up players. The Mets won with draft picks and trades; the old-fashioned way because there was no new way, yet.

But the miracle began in the regular season; towards the end of August and early September. The League split into two divisions that year and The Cubs were in first place of the new NL East for 155 days.; a summer long Chicago party until the ship sailed and the Mets sang lullaby into the September night.

In that death march month, the Cubs were 8-17; the Mets 23-7 and heading to the moon. There were two expansion teams that year; both in the National League. Their records amplified the miracle of the Mets quick rise. The Expos and Padres both finished with 52-110 records, but futures bright. If the Mets could do it, so could they. 

Those same Mets had lost 100 games in five of their first 6 seasons including 120 games in the inaugural 1962. Colorado’s comeback in 2007 or the A’s in 2002. The Phillies fall in 1964; losing 10 in a row; the Red Sox in 1978. Rise and fall. Death and miracles abound; best damn dancing partners since the erotic tango of creation and evolution.

It was wet and windy yesterday. Two leaves ejected from the branch and swirled down; looking for a long sleep I guess. There were probably others. 

Kyle Lohse on the mound for the Brewers last night; playing with a messed up ankle. The tape and treatment didn’t help, no Curt Shilling bloody red Sock superman. He left the game after 3 innings, but Lohse’s injury takes nothing away from the incredible power of the Cubs new poster boy; Javier Baez.

Manny Ramirez was specifically hired as player/coach to guide Baez at AAA Iowa in the ways of baseball and life. Theo Epstein believed Ramirez when he said he’s been reborn; got his faith in order. He’s a new person. Ramirez and Epstein have a great history together; back to Boston and 2004 and 2007 WS rings.

Baez is the Cubs version of Mike Trout; the third coming of super man and he plays a rangy second base to boot. The critics say there’s no pitch he doesn’t like; big holes in that swing of his. I don’t see it. Seems patient to me. Swings harder than anyone I’ve seen. Looks a hell of a lot like Manny Ramirez at the plate in stance, swing and results.

Love Manny or hate him, but he could hit and take a walk. He knew the strike zone; career OB% of .411 and an OPS of 996….delicious numbers.

Baez made headlines earlier this month after hitting a homerun-the game winner in his debut. In his third game, he hit two more. He hit his fourth last night; hit it off Lohse; first Wrigley homer for Baez. He hit it into the Chicago night, over the bleachers. There was no amazing catch by a fan. There were just oooohhs and aaahs as that sucker went over everything.

Anthony Rizzo followed Baez with a 2 iron blast of his own; a fist pitch curve ball in the dirt. Rizzo apparently expected an off speed pitch that early in the count and somehow hit it out; his 27th of the season. Back to back blasts, but just solo home runs. The Cubs had already scored two runs on a sac fly and a run scoring single.

And the Brewers had to face a pitcher they’d never seen before for the second consecutive night. Tsuyoshi Wada; a southpaw, a veteran from Japan, 33 years old shutout the Brewers for 6 more innings. Two solo home runs in the seventh chased him and ended the Brewers 20 inning scoreless drought, but the Cubs won 4-2.

The Brewers are 66-55 and 5-5 over their last 10 games and so are the Cardinals, Pirates, and Reds. Only the Cubs are 6-4.